Laura’s Take: Hobbies. Some of them are fun, and others, well, not so much… but the fact is that nearly everyone has one. When you’re in a serious relationship, it’s important to make an effort to share in your honey’s hobbies, whether it’s painting, collecting something, or taking pictures. Who knows, you might find out that you love collecting coins. That hasn’t really happened for me quite yet, but when Kris buys a new coin, I try to act interested. I’m just kidding of course. He loves sharing his hobby with me, and honestly, I love when he does. It’s nice being able to share our hobbies with each other. I don’t ever want to say, “Oh, that’s his thing.”
I don’t always like doing what Kris likes to do, but I still make an effort to seem interested. Why? Because when the time comes around for me to pick out that cute outfit for the his company’s Christmas party, I expect him to be anxiously waiting outside the dressing room. By the way, Kris doesn’t have a problem going shopping with me, but I know many men who can’t stand shopping with their women, so I thought it would be a suitable example.
Keep in mind that sharing in someone else’s hobby isn’t necessarily a game of give and take. Sometimes you learn to enjoy the hobby just as much as they do! I sometimes catch myself sifting through the change I get while shopping to see if there are any old coins that I think Kris might like.
When we think something is fun, cool, or interesting, we want to tell someone right? What if you absolutely loved playing piano… (as I do) and wanted to play a song for your sweety, but he or she didn’t care… Wouldn’t you be a little hurt? Now I’m not saying that they need to take up piano lessons, but just a mere “That was lovely Sweety,” could prove that they care about you and respect what’s important to you.
Kris’ Take: Yes, this is very important. It can be alienating when you feel like the person you love has absolutely no interest in your hobbies, and that’s why people should make an effort to share in it. I collect coins, as you’ve probably gathered, and many people find that to be terribly boring. I enjoy it because of all of the history behind them, and Laura understands that. After all, it is pretty neat holding a coin that’s 125 years old, or even 2,000 years old! It means a lot to me when I get a new coin and I can hurry up and show Laura my latest find; it’s like finding buried treasure. It would make me sad if I rushed home to show Laura and all she said was “OK. That’s boring.”
The same thing goes with shopping. Now, I don’t hate shopping, but there are other things that I prefer doing sometimes. This doesn’t change the fact that if Laura wants to hit up the mall, I go. I don’t drag my feet either! Many men will go just to appease, but they make it painfully obvious that they don’t want to be there. This isn’t supportive, in fact it might be more damaging than not going at all. Why should I take Laura somewhere that she really wants to be, then make it miserable for her? It doesn’t make sense, and I would even call it an oxymoron.
It’s all about give and take. Laura spends the time to listen to me about my hobbies, and I spend the time assisting her in her hobbies. It can’t be one sided, or someone is losing out. Relationships are about building each other up and growing together. Segregating your hobbies from one another just makes time for the two of you to grow apart, and that seems contrary to the idea behind a relationship.