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Laura: “What do you want to do?”

Kris: “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

Laura: “Do you want get something to eat?”

Kris: “Sure, where do you want to go?”

Laura: “I don’t know, where do you want to go?”

Kris: “Doesn’t matter to me…”

Laura’s Take: I know you’ve heard this conversation before. This is me and Kris nearly everytime we go out! We’ll sometimes even take up to an hour just to figure out what we’ll do for the rest of the day. Kris and I are both pretty organized and well-prepared people. When we couldn’t even decide on what to do for an afternoon, we decided that we needed to make a change.

So here’s what we did. We began writing a list of all the activities that we can do in our town, and I mean every activity, even the ones we probably wouldn’t do. Then we made another list of all the restaurants in the area and grouped them into categories according to price and cuisine. So now when we ask each other about what to do or where to eat, we can easily browse through all of our possible choices.

Kris and I have actually even take this one step further. We’ve completely planned out specific days from start til end. Not everyone can handle this kind of planning, but for Kris and I, it’s just what we needed. With our busy schedules, it’s hard to think of ideas off the top of your head. Planning things ahead of time takes a lot of stress off us and leaves us to just enjoy our time together.

Kris’ Take: I can’t count the number of times that we’ve had that conversation, but we’ve got everything pretty well planned out now so that we don’t need to even worry about what to do. Just look at the schedule and enjoy your day! It’s tough when you’re making the schedule because it can be somewhat tedious, but once it’s done it really makes the rest of your days so much easier. I even know what we’re doing tonight! It’s nice to know what to wear and what I’ll need to do. I highly suggest trying out this idea, especially if you have conversations like the one above!

Date Idea: Mini Golf!

Laura’s Take: Seriously, How awesome is Mini golf?! It’s fun and makes me feel like a kid again! That has to be my favorite thing about miniature golf. Kris and I love going to play some mini golf because we don’t have to be serious at all, it’s just good, clean, childish fun! And childish can be a good thing. For instance, it’s your first date and you’re both having trouble opening up and being yourself. Mini golf lets you both lighten up and get to having some fun!

It’s fun, easy, and pretty cheap… I’ve never seen a mini golf course that charges more than $15.00 per person. A few things to remember about this date: make sure it is a nice course, not one that just looks like a few holes and a random clown, make sure that it’s one of those adventure themed courses. Congo River Golf is our personal favorite. It really makes the whole experience! Also, don’t forget to make plans for a nice lunch or dinner afterwards. I’m positive that this date will be a hole in one! Sorry for the cheesy phrase, I just had to!

Kris’ Take: I really enjoy playing mini golf. It’s like being at a random small piece of paradise. You have pirate ships, waterfalls, good tropical music. Of course, that all depends on which course you go to. No use in wasting your money, pay the bit extra and go to a nice one. This is a fun day out and it’s not too short or too long. You can still fit other things into your day also, like dinner. I think this makes not only a wonderful first date, but a wonderful date for just about anytime.

Hot Tamales rates this idea:

4 out of 5 Hearts

Sharing Each Other’s Hobbies

Laura’s Take: Hobbies. Some of them are fun, and others, well, not so much… but the fact is that nearly everyone has one. When you’re in a serious relationship, it’s important to make an effort to share in your honey’s hobbies, whether it’s painting, collecting something, or taking pictures. Who knows, you might find out that you love collecting coins. That hasn’t really happened for me quite yet, but when Kris buys a new coin, I try to act interested. I’m just kidding of course. He loves sharing his hobby with me, and honestly, I love when he does. It’s nice being able to share our hobbies with each other. I don’t ever want to say, “Oh, that’s his thing.”

I don’t always like doing what Kris likes to do, but I still make an effort to seem interested. Why? Because when the time comes around for me to pick out that cute outfit for the his company’s Christmas party, I expect him to be anxiously waiting outside the dressing room. By the way, Kris doesn’t have a problem going shopping with me, but I know many men who can’t stand shopping with their women, so I thought it would be a suitable example.

Keep in mind that sharing in someone else’s hobby isn’t necessarily a game of give and take. Sometimes you learn to enjoy the hobby just as much as they do! I sometimes catch myself sifting through the change I get while shopping to see if there are any old coins that I think Kris might like.

When we think something is fun, cool, or interesting, we want to tell someone right? What if you absolutely loved playing piano… (as I do) and wanted to play a song for your sweety, but he or she didn’t care… Wouldn’t you be a little hurt? Now I’m not saying that they need to take up piano lessons, but just a mere “That was lovely Sweety,” could prove that they care about you and respect what’s important to you.

Kris’ Take:  Yes, this is very important.  It can be alienating when you feel like the person you love has absolutely no interest in your hobbies, and that’s why people should make an effort to share in it.  I collect coins, as you’ve probably gathered, and many people find that to be terribly boring.  I enjoy it because of all of the history behind them, and Laura understands that.  After all, it is pretty neat holding a coin that’s 125 years old, or even 2,000 years old!  It means a lot to me when I get a new coin and I can hurry up and show Laura my latest find; it’s like finding buried treasure.  It would make me sad if I rushed home to show Laura and all she said was “OK.  That’s boring.”

The same thing goes with shopping.  Now, I don’t hate shopping, but there are other things that I prefer doing sometimes.  This doesn’t change the fact that if Laura wants to hit up the mall, I go.  I don’t drag my feet either!  Many men will go just to appease, but they make it painfully obvious that they don’t want to be there.  This isn’t supportive, in fact it might be more damaging than not going at all.  Why should I take Laura somewhere that she really wants to be, then make it miserable for her?  It doesn’t make sense, and I would even call it an oxymoron.

It’s all about give and take.  Laura spends the time to listen to me about my hobbies, and I spend the time assisting her in her hobbies.  It can’t be one sided, or someone is losing out.  Relationships are about building each other up and growing together.  Segregating your hobbies from one another just makes time for the two of you to grow apart, and that seems contrary to the idea behind a relationship.

Everyone Likes Reassurance

Laura’s Take: It’s not that I have low self-esteem, but I love the frequent “I Love Yous” that Kris sends my way. Kris and I never let the other just assume the fact. Some people may disagree with this, saying that the frequent “I Love You” will eventually turn meaningless. Not the case. Reassuring someone about how you feel also helps them feel more secure in your relationship together, creating a more solid foundation that can withstand doubt. Meaningless?! “I Love You” is the most meaningful phrase you can say to someone, and when you love someone, why wouldn’t you want to tell them all the time?

Kris’ Take:  Yeah, I’ve heard those people too.  So while they’re being frugal with their “I Love Yous” I’ll make sure that Laura never rests her head on her pillow at night and wonders if I love her.  I’ve heard so many tragic stories where a person is quoted as saying “I never got to say I love you” or “I hope they knew that I loved them.”  Why leave it to chance?

Do Women Really Like Bad Boys Better?

Laura’s Take: Want to know the truth? The majority of women really DON’T want a jerk boyfriend at all. So why does it always seem like we tend to be more attracted to that bad boy persona? It’s not the fact that we like mean, rude, or arrogant pricks, it’s that we want someone who’s manly. The stereotypical bad boy is strong, takes what he wants and fights anyone willing to challenge him. We want to feel like we’re dating a man, someone who can defend and protect us, and unfortunately it’s that same desire that draws us to bad boys. One of the misconceptions we have about manliness is that men don’t need to act cocky to be considered manly. In fact, guys who act like that are just trying to compensate.

Real men, the kind that women really want, are the caring, nurturing men, who actually love and respect their women. It’s true, we want the nice guy, but we also want to be fought for and protected! It may sound old-fashioned, but we want to be your damsel in distress. We can’t defend ourselves and we need you to take care of us. It’s your job! Now who’s to say you can’t find a sweet, romantic man who’s still willing and able to be your big, strong man! I found one. When it comes to women looking for a serious relationship, the statement that “nice guys finish last” couldn’t be further from the truth.

Kris’ Take:  I can say that nice guys don’t finish last because I consider myself to be nice and I have a wonderful woman.  But just because I’m nice it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t pulverize someone that was hurting her.  It goes along with one of my favorite phrases:  “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness.”   I haven’t gotten to use that phrase yet, but I look forward to it!  But in all seriousness, I’m glad to hear that women don’t want to date jerks or badboys, because those kinds of guys only end up getting their women hurt, or they end up in jail.  Neither of which is good, helpful, or healthy for any relationship.

Date Idea: Amusement Parks!

Laura’s Take: This is by far my favorite date idea! Kris and I love amusement parks. We’re what you would call “Adrenaline Junkies.” So every so often, Kris and I visit one of the local parks. Living in Florida gives us the advantage over other junkies because it makes visiting theme parks a breeze.

It’s not always a cheap date idea, but it sure is a fun one! It’s especially nice because you get to spend the entire day with your sweety! I can guarantee that both you and your date will have an amazing time, as long as you wear comfortable shoes. Also, make sure you bring zip-lock bags, believe me, you’ll need them.

This is a picture of the roller coaster, Maverick, at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. I don’t know about Kris, but if I could go anywhere in the country, this would be my first pick! 17 roller coasters! 17! The happiness is infectious!

Kris’ Take:  I love theme parks tons!  They are a lot of fun and it’s a good way to spend the day.  It’s fun because you get to be pretty much worry free for the day.  If you go to Busch Gardens in Tampa, you just made a trip to Africa, if you go to Islands of Adventure, you just stepped into the most famous comics ever created.  Theme parks create a great atmosphere for just about any date.  I would definitely suggest this idea.  But beware, calculate for food and souvenirs.  If you think you’re getting out of there without buying those you’re sadly mistaken!  This can be expensive, but so so so much fun.  I agree, 5 hearts!

Hot Tamales rates this idea:

5 out of 5 Hearts

The Woman’s Guide to Complimenting

Laura’s Take: Believe me, there’s a right way and a wrong way! Let me start off with a few of the right ways. We like to be complimented on our beauty, our natural beauty. A simple, “Your smile is so beautiful,” will really let a woman’s guard down. Since she knows you like her smile, she’ll tend to smile a bit more for you, making for a much more comfortable atmosphere. Another thing women love to be complimented on is their personality/characteristics. For instance, “You have a great sense of humor,” or “Your laugh is adorable!” It shows a woman that you’re more interested in exploring her mind rather than her body. These kinds of compliments are the most important on a first date. You’re still able to compliment her without overwhelming her.

Which brings me to some of the wrong ways. Overwhelming a woman with compliments is a frequent problem I see. Sometimes when a man gets nervous on a date, he figures if he loads on the compliments, it’ll be a sure success. Not quite. Women love flattery, but there’s a point where it’s taking too far. Complimenting too much is actually more of a turn off than too little. When a women is constantly told how beautiful she looks, she begins to think that the man is only dating her for her looks. This goes right along with compliments about her body. For women, a compliment about our body isn’t really a compliment at all, just more of a sleazy come on.

When complimenting a woman, or for that matter, a man, just keep in mind that the best compliment comes right from the heart. If you don’t believe it, don’t say it! Because odds are, she won’t believe you either, which will make for a very tense environment for the both of you.

Kris’ Take:  Guys remember, compliments are like water.  Pour too little on, the flower won’t flourish, throw it into the ocean, it won’t flourish either.

Date Tip: Be Yourself

Laura’s Take: After much review, Kris and I have decided that the most important thing for someone to remember on a date is to be yourself! People tend to over prepare themselves for a date and then forget that they need to be themselves! It is smart to prepare, that’s something we always want people to do before a date. But if you’re focusing too much on little details and forget about being yourself, you can forget about ever getting a second date. We hear so often how people change after you get married and move in together. Not to scare you off, but being upfront with someone from the beginning will give them a little insight into what they could expect if all goes well.

Guys, We want to get to know the real you, not who you think we want you to be! Tell us what’s important to you, what you care about, what do you like to do, and things you like and don’t like. On a first date, yes, the little details are still important to keep in the back of your mind, but it’s more important to give a clear representation of who you really are. This’ll give your date the information she needs to know to decide if you’d be right for her.

Friends with Benefits

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Laura’s Take: This issue is becoming such an epidemic among the younger generations of today. Why does it seem that nearly every college student, male or female, has to play the field, “see what their options are,” or skip the dating process completely?

I saw a news story not more than a week ago, talking about students all across the nation, reversing the dating process. In fact, about 60% of all college students have had a “friend with benefits” relationship. What does this mean? Instead of dating someone to see if you want to take things to the next levels, marriage and intimacy, College students are skipping the first two steps and going straight to intimacy, where they then decide whether the other person is worth dating. This is a huge problem because it usually results in disappointment, regret, loneliness, and low self-esteem.

It may seem like a great deal, “no strings attached,” but there are always strings attached. Sex creates a bond between two people, it would be foolish to deny this, so how can you tell me that there’s no emotions involved? The fact is that people in this kind of arrangement will have an attachment for one another, almost like a pacifier to calm them. Had a bad day or something and need to unwind, who are probably going to turn to? When those strings start getting too tangled up, someone will cut them, leaving the other person out both a companion and a friend.

And what happens when you want to break away from the “friends with benefits” title and move into a real relationship with that person? Well if the person agreed to being just friends with benefits in the first place, they’re probably not aren’t looking for any form of commitment. Thus, you’re forced to choose between having just a friend with benefits relationship or being alone once again, which both choices leaves a person both disappointed and emotionally alone.

My advice to anyone considering starting a “friends with benefits” arrangement, is if you’re not looking for an actual relationship, keep your pants on, because it’s only going to give you more problems. If you can’t do that, you should probably seek out medical and psychological treatment to control your overactive hormones.

Kris’ Take: I know it was briefly glossed over but I’m going to dig a little deeper into the “what if you try to start a real relationship” aspect. Not only are you going to be starting a real relationship, but you need to end your old friends with benefits relationship also. I imagine that wouldn’t be so easy to do, after all, you’re only friends… right? Or wait, were you more than friends? It wouldn’t be fair to your new relationship to stay friends with this person. If you think it’s okay then you shouldn’t be entering into a real relationship because I can’t imagine your girlfriend being too thrilled that you’re friends with benefits is sticking around. And if you think keeping that aspect of your friendship a secret is a good idea, you really don’t need to be entering into a relationship!

People don’t enter a friends with benefits relationship to “find that special someone.” I don’t care how much they lie to themselves and others, people enter friends with benefits because they want sex, and they don’t want commitment. I’m not saying that any of these “friendships” haven’t lead to a relationship with the “friend,” but it’s not likely. If you’re engaged in a friends with benefits relationship on the pretenses that you’ll fall in love and run off into the sunset, then you’ve probably been lied to.  Just wait until marriage.

Date Idea: Strawberry Parfait

Laura’s Take: Kris and I absolutely love parfaits! They’re delicious and refreshing! Mmmm! So anyways, I found this recipe on Yahoo! Recipes and thought it sounded quick, easy, and delicious so I figured I’d share it with you all. We haven’t tried this recipe out yet, however it’s definitely on the list. Kris and I love cooking together! We’ve made some pretty awesome coconut shrimp, of course with the help of my cooking connoisseur mother.

It’s always fun spending some quality time together in the kitchen, cookin’ up something yummy. Whether it’s making a romantic dinner for two or just making a ice cream sundae, it’s just nicer doing these things together. Even clean up is a breeze when you’re both helping out. I’m not saying that you should force your date to do dishes, but if you’re married or in a long-term relationship, cleaning up together can actually be just as enjoyable as the cooking itself. Now keep in mind that this alone would not be enough to fill up a whole evening, so make sure that you plan your date accordingly.

Kris’ Take: Can we do this tonight? Please? That looks and sounds so good! This would be perfect for a movie night.

         Ingredients:

1. 2 ounces PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened
2. 2 tablespoons strawberry jam
3. 1/4 cup thawed COOL WHIP Whipped Topping
4. 1/2 cup sliced strawberries, divided

        Directions:

1. Mix cream cheese and jam until well blended. Gently                                  stir in whipped topping.
2. Spoon 1/4 cup strawberries into each of 2 parfait or                             dessert glasses.
3. Top with cream cheese mixture.

Hot Tamales rates this idea:

3 out of 5 Hearts

Special thanks to Kraftfoods.com and Yahoo! Recipes for providing this one!