Hey Everyone,
Well, as a renewed commitment to this wonderful blog we’ve just created our twitter account which should make it very easy to alert you once we post a new entry! We will send out a tweet each time we post something new. Make sure you click follow on our twitter account so we can keep you updated! Have a wonderful day.
Sincerely,
Kristofer & Laura
Related Articles:
Is It Wrong To Have Friends Of The Opposite Sex?
With so many politicians getting caught with their pants down, many people might wonder: Is it wrong to be friends with someone of the opposite sex? It is a heated debate that has people fighting on both sides of the line. Often accusations of trust and control issues are spit forth like bullets from a Tommy Gun, but let’s not be so hasty. There are people who vehemently oppose the idea of men and women being friends, and there are people that support it. But who is right? While it may seem to simplistic to chock it up to “what you feel is right.” It, unfortunately, almost always comes down to that.
To look at it more objectively, a relationship that avoids each member having friends of the opposite sex will most likely have less a chance of infidelity just for the sole reason of a lack of options. Laura and I opt to not have friends of the opposite sex. We don’t do this because we pressure each other, but out of respect to one another. I would never want Laura to wonder what I’m doing and I know she wouldn’t want me wondering either. Many might suggest that this is a sign of mistrust, but I beg to differ. It is within humans nature to reason, and to postulate on things happening. How often do we try to predict the end of a movie? It is simply how we work.
It is no different in real life either. The mind wanders and it’s by no fault of our own. This can be stopped by simply avoiding the subject to begin with. I do not feel that I have lost out on anything by not maintaining friendships with females, and Laura has expressed the same belief as well. But as I stated earlier, it is up to the people involved as to what situation suits the relationship best. We just chose the road that we felt to be easiest.
We have started up a companion blog for men. The Blog is designed to help men come up with easy and relatively affordable ways to make the woman in their life feel more special. Check it out at Special Her!
Sincerely,
Kris & Laura
Laura: “What do you want to do?”
Kris: “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
Laura: “Do you want get something to eat?”
Kris: “Sure, where do you want to go?”
Laura: “I don’t know, where do you want to go?”
Kris: “Doesn’t matter to me…”
Laura’s Take: I know you’ve heard this conversation before. This is me and Kris nearly everytime we go out! We’ll sometimes even take up to an hour just to figure out what we’ll do for the rest of the day. Kris and I are both pretty organized and well-prepared people. When we couldn’t even decide on what to do for an afternoon, we decided that we needed to make a change.
So here’s what we did. We began writing a list of all the activities that we can do in our town, and I mean every activity, even the ones we probably wouldn’t do. Then we made another list of all the restaurants in the area and grouped them into categories according to price and cuisine. So now when we ask each other about what to do or where to eat, we can easily browse through all of our possible choices.
Kris and I have actually even take this one step further. We’ve completely planned out specific days from start til end. Not everyone can handle this kind of planning, but for Kris and I, it’s just what we needed. With our busy schedules, it’s hard to think of ideas off the top of your head. Planning things ahead of time takes a lot of stress off us and leaves us to just enjoy our time together.
Kris’ Take: I can’t count the number of times that we’ve had that conversation, but we’ve got everything pretty well planned out now so that we don’t need to even worry about what to do. Just look at the schedule and enjoy your day! It’s tough when you’re making the schedule because it can be somewhat tedious, but once it’s done it really makes the rest of your days so much easier. I even know what we’re doing tonight! It’s nice to know what to wear and what I’ll need to do. I highly suggest trying out this idea, especially if you have conversations like the one above!
Laura’s Take: Seriously, How awesome is Mini golf?! It’s fun and makes me feel like a kid again! That has to be my favorite thing about miniature golf. Kris and I love going to play some mini golf because we don’t have to be serious at all, it’s just good, clean, childish fun! And childish can be a good thing. For instance, it’s your first date and you’re both having trouble opening up and being yourself. Mini golf lets you both lighten up and get to having some fun!
Laura’s Take: Hobbies. Some of them are fun, and others, well, not so much… but the fact is that nearly everyone has one. When you’re in a serious relationship, it’s important to make an effort to share in your honey’s hobbies, whether it’s painting, collecting something, or taking pictures. Who knows, you might find out that you love collecting coins. That hasn’t really happened for me quite yet, but when Kris buys a new coin, I try to act interested. I’m just kidding of course. He loves sharing his hobby with me, and honestly, I love when he does. It’s nice being able to share our hobbies with each other. I don’t ever want to say, “Oh, that’s his thing.”
I don’t always like doing what Kris likes to do, but I still make an effort to seem interested. Why? Because when the time comes around for me to pick out that cute outfit for the his company’s Christmas party, I expect him to be anxiously waiting outside the dressing room. By the way, Kris doesn’t have a problem going shopping with me, but I know many men who can’t stand shopping with their women, so I thought it would be a suitable example.
Keep in mind that sharing in someone else’s hobby isn’t necessarily a game of give and take. Sometimes you learn to enjoy the hobby just as much as they do! I sometimes catch myself sifting through the change I get while shopping to see if there are any old coins that I think Kris might like.
When we think something is fun, cool, or interesting, we want to tell someone right? What if you absolutely loved playing piano… (as I do) and wanted to play a song for your sweety, but he or she didn’t care… Wouldn’t you be a little hurt? Now I’m not saying that they need to take up piano lessons, but just a mere “That was lovely Sweety,” could prove that they care about you and respect what’s important to you.
Kris’ Take: Yes, this is very important. It can be alienating when you feel like the person you love has absolutely no interest in your hobbies, and that’s why people should make an effort to share in it. I collect coins, as you’ve probably gathered, and many people find that to be terribly boring. I enjoy it because of all of the history behind them, and Laura understands that. After all, it is pretty neat holding a coin that’s 125 years old, or even 2,000 years old! It means a lot to me when I get a new coin and I can hurry up and show Laura my latest find; it’s like finding buried treasure. It would make me sad if I rushed home to show Laura and all she said was “OK. That’s boring.”
The same thing goes with shopping. Now, I don’t hate shopping, but there are other things that I prefer doing sometimes. This doesn’t change the fact that if Laura wants to hit up the mall, I go. I don’t drag my feet either! Many men will go just to appease, but they make it painfully obvious that they don’t want to be there. This isn’t supportive, in fact it might be more damaging than not going at all. Why should I take Laura somewhere that she really wants to be, then make it miserable for her? It doesn’t make sense, and I would even call it an oxymoron.
It’s all about give and take. Laura spends the time to listen to me about my hobbies, and I spend the time assisting her in her hobbies. It can’t be one sided, or someone is losing out. Relationships are about building each other up and growing together. Segregating your hobbies from one another just makes time for the two of you to grow apart, and that seems contrary to the idea behind a relationship.
Kris’ Take: Last night Laura and I had a little date night. We knew that we were going to go shopping, go to a movie, and go to dinner. We didn’t know where and in what order, but that’s what we knew. As we made our drive we originally were going to go to Olive Garden, but her and I are very much against doing the “same old, same old” so we decided to go to:
The Dinner
Smokey Bones Was great! Seating was courteous and immediate! They made a wonderful first impression when you walk in. The inside looks like a very classy log cabin with stone work and thick beams of natural wood everywhere. If you’re worried about kids, don’t worry. They have a little speaker box on the table that allows you to hear the sound from any of the many different televisions they have there. Once seated it did not take long for the waitress to greet us and present us with menus. She promptly asked for our drink order, two Cokes. After reading through the appetizers Laura and I decided on the cornbread with honey pecan butter.
For our entrees Laura and I decided upon their Top Sirloin steak. The waitress brought the entrees and everything looked wonderful, but this has happened to me before. Laura seemed to be enjoying her meal so I cut into my steak and I must say they did great! They cooked it perfectly, the taste was great, and not over or under seasoned. The check was only $41.00 which pales in comparison to many other steak houses I’ve patronized and left unhappy. The meal was very good, the service was great, and our glasses were never empty for too long, and that’s only if they got empty–Which I think happened once. All-in-all this is a restaurant I would visit again and recommend to friends.
The Shopping
We went to the local mall and went to a few stores. Nothing really all that interesting was going on here. Abercrombie was drenched in that horrible cologne as usual and phone salesmen were licking their chops at speaking with Laura and I, but we just kind of huddle up and keep talking and it doesn’t let them get a word in edgewise. Luckily dinner took up a majority of the time so we didn’t have to spend too much time shopping, or getting harassed by phone salesmen. The mall is very nice and has many stores but unless you’re looking for something this can get boring quickly.
The Movie
It breaks my heart to give Semi-Pro this rating, but the movie did not live up to its hype. Laura and I are huge, huge Will Ferrell fans, and this is one out of maybe two of his films that has disappointed us. The idea behind the film is: Jackie Moon is the owner, coach, and forward for a semi-pro basketball team called the Tropics. Soon he learns that the NBA will be absorbing some of the teams and dissolving the league. It is then left up to Jackie Moon to get the team into shape so they can be one of the four teams to be absorbed into the NBA. We went in with high hopes, but the movie fell flat in many areas, and like many other films–the funniest parts were highlighted in the movie’s trailer. We did see a promising preview of an upcoming Will Ferrell movie which we hope to be much better, but this movie had people walking out of the theater. I gave Will Ferrell the benefit of the doubt and finished the movie but it was weak throughout. It was filled with the standard Will Ferrell comedy style, which I warmly welcome, but it lacked any freshness and suffered from a very weak story line. Ultimately the night was okay, made best by the dinner and being with each other, but we were disappointed in the movie. Overall the highlight of my night was spending it with Laura, and I think that will always be my highlight.
Night out with my honey:
Laura’s Take: It’s not that I have low self-esteem, but I love the frequent “I Love Yous” that Kris sends my way. Kris and I never let the other just assume the fact. Some people may disagree with this, saying that the frequent “I Love You” will eventually turn meaningless. Not the case. Reassuring someone about how you feel also helps them feel more secure in your relationship together, creating a more solid foundation that can withstand doubt. Meaningless?! “I Love You” is the most meaningful phrase you can say to someone, and when you love someone, why wouldn’t you want to tell them all the time?
Kris’ Take: Yeah, I’ve heard those people too. So while they’re being frugal with their “I Love Yous” I’ll make sure that Laura never rests her head on her pillow at night and wonders if I love her. I’ve heard so many tragic stories where a person is quoted as saying “I never got to say I love you” or “I hope they knew that I loved them.” Why leave it to chance?
Kris’ Take: So you go to work all day, and you come home to see your husband sitting on the couch, flipping through channels, and he didn’t really do anything around the house. If this sounds familiar then you’re not alone according to the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics. 6.5% of marriages in the United States are in a similar situation. There are advantages to one spouse staying home like keeping watch of the kids, or just keeping the house and yard nice and tidy, but you’re not reading this because of that. You’re probably reading this because the husband isn’t doing any of those things.
There has been a paradigm shift since women’s rights and suffrage, and many women don’t like it. I see searches for it all the time, but what can women do? Like any other problem you should sit down and talk about it. But before you do that, you need to find out what is really bothering you about it. Do you feel stressed, like the full work load is on you? Does it make you angry that ‘lazy bones’ gets to rest all day? Are you barely making your bills, or falling behind? Do you feel that it’s the man’s responsibility to go to work and for you to take are of the homefront? Are you annoyed that he’s not getting enough done around the house? This is important to consider because as soon as you sit down and let him know that you don’t like him working, he’s probably going to ask you why.
I’ve always been hugely motivated, and I don’t know many guys who could just sit at home while their wife brought in the income. But, if this is the guy you’ve got, then you’re going to need to work with it. If you’re falling behind in bills then that should be motivation enough, be honest with the financial climate of the household. If you’re just unhappy with the situation then that should be motivation enough for him to want to step up and help out in the marriage. If he doesn’t want to get a job, then you need to find out why. This situation can get so complicated so quickly because there are a lot of reasons that a man may not want to work. Some might include that he feels he doesn’t need to work because you make enough money, or that he feels he does enough around the house, or maybe he’s just completely lazy. Whatever the reason is; if it puts a strain on the marriage or your mental health, I would suggest seeking out a marriage counselor.
1 Corinthians Chapter 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
